This summer my home became the hangout place for my teens and their friends. Now that summer is winding down, I am looking forward to getting the place back to myself.
Although for the most part I really didn’t mind their friends being there, it had its moments. I definitely appreciate the fact that my teens and their friends enjoy being here. I try to always keep a friendly attitude and let their friends know that they are more than welcome. However I also learned that boundaries needed to be established.
One issue that I found was that their friends also enjoyed eating here. I didn’t mind if every-once-in-a-while we fed them. There were times that I had extra food and could do that. But there were other times when I would find one of their friends drinking the last of our milk or eating the last of my favorite crackers.
There was one time when I came upstairs from my office and saw my daughter’s friend helping herself to some waffles. My daughter walked in the kitchen, laughed and made the comment that she couldn’t believe her friend had just helped herself to some waffles. Actually, I couldn’t believe it either.
So the first boundary that needed to be established was that their friends couldn’t eat our food unless they first asked permission or if I offered it.
Then along came another issue. Friends would just show up without calling first. Or my own children would invite a friend over without checking with me first. So the next boundary that had to be established was that friends had to ask permission and my children needed to check with me first.
I really do enjoy having my teen’s friends hang out here. It gives me an opportunity to interact with them and get to know their friends better. It also helps me keep better tabs on my own children.
One of my favorite moments this summer was when I came home from a grocery shopping trip. I walked in the door and one of my daughter’s friends was in our living room, relaxing with her feet on the couch and using my daughter’s laptop. Her other friend was in another room playing on the computer and my daughter was in her bedroom playing a video game.
For some reason I found it funny that she had two friends over but they were all in separate rooms, feeling quite comfortable I might add. I asked my daughter to help me bring in groceries but then her friends started helping. I told them they didn’t need to help but then I stopped and thought about it. “Actually,” I said, “You can help since you eat my food.” We all laughed.
Yes, I have enjoyed the company of my teen’s friends but I am also looking forward to quieter days ahead.
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