In 1987, special needs parent Emily Perl Kingsley wrote Welcome to Holland, part poem / part story, about what it’s like to get that diagnosis of your special needs child. It compares the experience to taking a flight to Italy for vacation, but landing in and having to stay in Holland. The piece is meant to remind parents of special needs children that life is still worth living after your child is diagnosed. That, yes, life will be different and not what you expected, but all will be okay.
Special needs mom of 2010, Dana Nieder, has written a contributing piece to Welcome to Holland on her blog, Uncommon Sense. Amsterdam International fills in some parts that Nieder felt were missing from Welcome to Holland, mainly the part where the unsuspecting (and sometimes suspecting but optimistic) parents are given the blow of their lives and are devastated. Nieder writes about those first initial moments in this airport where you didn’t expect to land and the fact that you can never really leave.
Nieder’s daughter Maya is two and has global developmental delays of an unknown origin. They suspect it is the result of a genetic condition that is yet to be determined. Maya can’t walk alone or stand without help and is non-verbal. The battle has been tough, and while the Nieder family is enjoying life, Nieder wrote Amsterdam International in order to let parents know that, yes, Holland is a nice place with many wonderful discoveries and gifts, but getting out of the airport is heartbreaking, and emotionally turbulent.
She writes, “You briskly walk off of the plane into the airport thinking ‘There-must-be-a-way-to-fix-this-please-please-don’t-make-me-have-to-stay-here-THIS-ISN’T-WHAT-I-WANTED-please-just-take-it-back’. The airport is covered with signs in Dutch that don’t help, and several well-meaning airport professionals try to calm you into realizing that you are here (oh, and since they’re shutting down the airport today, you can never leave. Never never. This is your new reality.).”
And she’s right. I’ve been there. You pray for the ability to time travel. You pray that it is a mistake and you will be told it isn’t actually your child, that paperwork was mixed up, that the tests were faulty. But there you are, in a completely unfamiliar, scary place that you never expected with the wrong brochures in your hand and guides who don’t speak your language. The worst experience of your life.
If you are the parent of a child who was just diagnosed with a special need, read Welcome to Holland and check out Amsterdam International. No one understands your pain or your joys like parents who have been there.