I used to think moms were just pretending to understand their babbling toddlers. Even though the order and repetition of their gibberish made it sound like they were attempting real words, I couldn’t figure out what they were saying. Ironically enough, now that my own son is learning to talk, I almost always understand what he is saying. To me, his words are clear, and I didn’t realize until recently that other people cannot understand what he is saying most of the time. They are probably thinking I am just pretending to understand him!
The difference is context. It really is like a separate language for a while. Toddlers are often limited in what sounds they are able to make, but they are also consistent in their replacements. In this way, a mother can learn to hear her toddler’s “accent.” For example, I know that my son cannot pronounce the “s” in words like snow or nose. Both words come out sounding like “no.” He always points to his nose or someone else’s nose when saying “nose,” so that is how I am able to differentiate between the two. When he really means “no,” however, he pronounces it like a question, “no? no?”
There are times that I do not know what my son is trying to say. He’ll keep repeating it and I’ll keep asking him to say it again, hoping it will click. If I really don’t know what he is saying, even after having him repeat it a few times, I’ll ask him to show me what he is talking about. Usually he will either point or walk over to the thing he is talking about, and then I’ll make the connection. If I still can’t figure out what he is talking about, then I’ll just smile and nod, “oh, thanks for telling me!” If anyone assumes I am just pretending to understand him at this point, they are right! If I resort to faking my understanding, it’s because I do not want him to feel embarrassed about not being understood. I wouldn’t want him to stop trying to talk to us out of frustration.