Sometimes when my 16-year-old talks, especially when it’s about political or moral issues he sounds like me. Now don’t get me wrong, despite his environment obviously influencing him he definitely has his own mind. He is not one to go along with someone else just because. He is his own thinker.
The older he gets the more I chuckle at some of his insights, inwardly that is. He is beginning to really sound grown up. He has strong opinions about things and has no problem voicing them. He shares things that are always very interesting.
Now some may think that it’s been ingrained in him. While I know it’s true that a child’s upbringing will influence them, I also know that by the time they hit their teen years they tend to form their own values, even if they are different than their parents. And yes, some of his values do differ from mine.
When I was a teenager I decided that everything my parents stood for was everything I didn’t. I won’t say what party line they pledged themselves to but the year I turned 18, I was allowed to vote in my first presidential election. My parents were truly dismayed to hear that I was voting for the opposite party.
My son is already thinking about the year he turns 18. He will be able to vote in our next presidential election and he has voiced some opinions that make it clear he will be voting at least in the same party line as me.
I know that some may be convinced that I have somehow pounded my standards and ideals into him. I think more than anything, he has seen it work for us as a family. That is not to say that just because someone else thinks differently it isn’t right.
I strongly believe in taking stands for things that you hold a personal belief in and it doesn’t mean that someone is right or wrong. It’s just part of being a person who has the freedom to think as they wish.
Whether or not your teen holds the same values and beliefs, they are their own person and should be respected. If you don’t really know what they stand for, take an opportunity to talk about some important issues and discuss your feelings on the matters. It can open up some very enlightening conversations.
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