Marriage seems to take a shift when your children begin to reach their teenage years. Depending on the circumstances surrounding your family this shift can be either a good or bad thing.
One of the things I found happening in the past year or so is that I have had to come to grips with the reality of my children losing their dependence on me. At times I had this overwhelming sense of loneliness, despite not having an empty home.
It just felt like my children didn’t need me as much and my husband works at least 60 hours a week so here I was, kind of feeling like I was on the outskirts of things. It just made me feel a bit sad.
In the midst of these years where my children are starting to grow up I realize all the more that my marriage is more precious to me. While the focus has been on the children so much, it is beginning to shift and I am seeing a need to really nurture my marriage. Not that it hasn’t always been the case or that I have been neglectful of it. But the reality is that I spent more time on my parenting.
I am by far not ready to stop being a parent. My oldest is entering his last year of high school in September and I have one who will be just entering. Then there is my child in middle school so I have a long road ahead of me. But still, the dynamics just seem to be shifting and it has been a challenge to readjust my bearings.
Yet I have to face the reality that one day my children will no longer be here. It will be just my husband and I. Am I ready for that? Is our marriage at a place where it can handle the deafening silence of no children?
It is so important in our marriage that we prepare for that time. Every marriage needs to prepare for that moment when you finally become an empty nester. Working on your marriage from the beginning is the best way to do this. If you wait until the children are gone it may be too late.
Nurture your marriage in every season. For there will come a time when you may find yourselves looking at each other and ask, “Who are you?” As marriages shift in changing seasons, we need to be ready.
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