Disasters affect relationships in one of two ways. They can bring a couple closer together as they cling to each other for support and comfort and love. Or they can produce so much anger that people turn against each other and take out their frustrations on those closest to them.
This is eyes exactly what is happening in Christchurch. Reports show ‘domestic violence has surged by 50 percent after a major tremor rocked New Zealand’s second city last September.’ That tremor was ‘the prelude to Tuesday’s quake that left at least 123 dead and destroyed parts of the city centre.’ The same thing has happened since this latest earthquake. Police commander Dave Cliff reported there had once again been another huge increase in family assaults. A basic reason behind the increase of domestic violence is people have turned to alcohol to cope.
Surely you would think that such disasters would bring people closer together, realizing how much they love and need each other rather than setting them against each other? But then alcohol often has the affect of clouding judgment and making any frustrations and problems in a marriage worse.
It is not just a one off occurrence either. Domestic violence is already a problem in New Zealand. However in times of natural disaster incidents of domestic violence increase significantly. Massey University researcher Ros Houghton has found this usually occurs in relationships that are already ‘rocky.’
Contrast this with the situation of Christchurch earthquake survivor Emma Howard. Last Tuesday Chris Greenslade stood for six and a half hours that must have seemed like an eternity outside the Pyne Gould building waiting for the woman he loved to be rescued. Three days later he stood and waited for her again, as she walked down the aisle of the family church on the arm of her father to marry him.
Apart from bruising on her arms Emma Howard in her satin gown locked every inch a bride.
Given the recent ordeal, many people thought the wedding might be postponed but the bride, groom and families saw no reason not to go ahead as planned. It didn’t matter that everything wasn’t perfect – that the groom had to borrow a suit to get married in because his and those of the groomsmen were still in the shop which couldn’t be accessed because of the quake. It didn’t matter that the wedding cake was not ready. Friends baked a homemade cake.
In times of chaos and uncertainty some people realize how fragile life is and how important it is to make the most of moments. They realize how important it is to be with the one you love and how you can cling to and support each other in the hard times.
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