Nothing is worse than the spirit of criticism. When criticism is all you hear, eventually you will get to the point where you won’t even try anymore.
I recall the earlier years of our marriage when my husband would attempt to “help” around the house or cook dinner. Or even when our children were younger and he would get them ready.
All I would end up seeing is the spot he missed, the overcooked noodles and the mismatched clothes my children were wearing. Yes, I had a very critical spirit.
That’s because my expectations were more important than my husband’s feelings. I was also expecting him to do things the way I would, rather than appreciating the fact he was helping me and that he has his own unique way of doing things.
The critical spirit is an ugly thing that will attempt to rise up on all different occasions. But I strive really hard to knock it back down when its ugly head rears up. I know how I feel when I am being criticized so I don’t want to do the same to my husband.
Does my husband clean the way I do? No. Does he handle situations with the kids exactly the way I would? No. Does he always know the right gift to buy? Not always. But I have a choice to make. I can criticize him for all these things or I can appreciate the man he is.
When I criticize it forces my husband to put up bricks and over time, with enough of them, suddenly there is this huge wall standing in between us. Criticism won’t change anyone or cause them to see “our way.” Criticism hurts and it’s unhealthy in a marriage.
So the next time you feel ready to criticize, ask yourself if that is really the type of spirit you want to have. Is hurting your husband really worth what is about to come out of your mouth? Or would it be better to say nothing?
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