Sometimes the best laid plans have to be put aside because of consideration for the other person or the circumstances or both. Recently Mick and I had big plans for an outing with our daughter and her husband and young child. In the end it came down to putting the needs of others above selfish desires.
Given the conditions which saw rain bucketing down all day to go out and be paddling, or should that be puddling, around in the rain was not a viable option, especially when four out of the five of us had recently been sick. Common sense insisted the better option was to relinquish our desires and do what was best for all concerned, no matter how much our own personal wishes and desires were thwarted.
Even so it is still not an easy thing when you have your heart set on doing or achieving something and have made plans for it to have to suddenly alter it and concede that the better option is that think of others and forgo your own desires. But this is what marriage requires of us so often, to forgo our wants and desires and instead put the other person’s wants and desires and needs above our own.
The ability to change plans too without getting into a sulk or getting antsy about having to change plans or feeling or behaving like a martyr is also part of it. There’s no point giving in and changing plans to accommodate your spouse, if you are then going act the martyr and make them feel guilty that they are the one responsible for you not getting your way and that you’re being magnanimous by giving in to what is best for them. All that type of attitude causes is resentment. Resentment is never helpful in any marriage. Giving in needs to be done graciously and with a smile, because you are after all doing it for the one you love.
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