In between my chemotherapy and the radiation therapy the Komen Tarrant County Race for the Cure came. Seeing as I was not a breast cancer patient / survivor I decided to participate.
I was still bald and tired from all the chemotherapy but I was also feeling very alone. There was no one my age that I knew that was in the same boat as me. The few friends I had seemed to disappear when they heard the cancer diagnosis, it was almost like they thought they could catch it from me. We were going to a church and had been going to what they called home groups and they did bring a few meals over but no one was really there for me.
When I got my 1st pink survivor shirt form 2006 I must admit I was not super comfortable with wearing it. I say that because with the wig on you really could not tell I was going through cancer treatment. I did not want the inevitable pity look that I tended to get when people found out I had cancer. I did not want to hear one more time “OH your so young, you poor thing”.
When I walked into down town Fort Worth and saw the sea of pink I did not feel so alone. Suddenly there were so many pink t-shirts I could not believe my eyes. I was no longer alone. I was among women and men, some younger and I will admit there was a lot of people older than I was but they had signs and pins showing 20 plus years as a survivor. All of a sudden maybe this was not a total death sentence, maybe there was hope for me yet.
All of a sudden the pink shirt was feeling more comfortable than it ever did. It was like a badge showing that I can and hopefully will beat this. If you have never been to a Komen Race for the Cure you really need to go at least once. They have a survivor walk where they group you by how long you have been a survivor. It was very reassuring to me to see all the people in the walk in front of me, they line you up by how long you have been a survivor and I was very optimistic seeing how many people I was walking behind.
From that day forward I have been wearing my pink survivor t-shirt throughout the year. I figure I am a survivor all year long why only show it one day a year. I almost always have someone come up to me and ask if I was a survivor or not, when I proudly say yes, they always have a friend or family member who have fought this fight or is just beginning to fight. I have given more people my name and number to give me a call.
After diagnosis I found other girls I went to high school with that have fought this battle, after the first Komen walk I was no longer alone. I was a survivor among a sea of survivors.