For most of us, money is a tool. We get some, we spend it for what we need, and we tuck a little away for a rainy day. But for some of us, it carries a deeper emotional meaning which can manifest itself with an increased desire to save, or an increased desire to spend. Each of these desires is caused by fear or insecurity.
Spending – People who spend are generally afraid of being deprived. If they were raised in poverty or even in want, they fear returning to that status and as they spend money, they are subconsciously telling themselves, “It’s okay. Look, you have enough. You don’t have to do without.” These persons have a difficult time saving money because it feels like deprivation.
Saving – People who save are also afraid of being deprived, but in a different way. They fear running out of money. They are shoring up their defenses against loss of a job, or loss of a home. They don’t ever want to be caught without the means they need to survive, and so they save every penny. These persons have a difficult time spending because they worry about not having enough.
Is it wrong to spend money? Is it wrong to save money? Of course not. Money is there for our use. But when we take it to one extreme or the other and it’s causing rifts in our relationships or it’s interfering with our ability to meet our financial obligations, then we need to take a deeper look at it and see what we can do to work through those emotional insecurities that make us either cling to our money or spend a bit too much.
My sisters and I joke that if we talk about it long enough, we can find ways to blame everything on our mother. It’s a funny statement, and yet it bears a kernel of truth. Many of the reasons for why we do things the way we do them can be found in our upbringing. My need to have a fully stocked kitchen comes from a time when we were living on welfare and hardly had any food at all. As I’ve come to recognize this, I’ve been able to work through those issues and reason with myself that it really is okay if we run out of a certain thing—we have lots of other stuff on hand.
Some emotional insecurities can best be solved with the aid of a professional, but many can be worked through independently. If you are struggling, I encourage you to try to get at the root of why you feel the way you do about money. It doesn’t have to control your life.
Related Blogs:
The Two Parts to Frugal Living
What Are Your Thoughts on Money?
Finding Fun Alternatives to Spending