Is single parenthood hereditary or contagious somehow? It seems to me that once the single parenthood train gets rolling, it’s hard to stop. My father was killed in Vietnam when I was three, so single parenthood was forced on my mother. Now all of my mother’s daughters are single parents. One of my nieces is also a single parent. My brothers are both still married. What does this say about the women in my family?
Have we learned by example? It’s been said that we gravitate to what is familiar, is this what is happening to our families? No longer is there a stigma attached to being divorced, it’s so normal that the neighbors no longer shun you. We have gotten so used to seeing single moms, and being part of single parent families that we make our own.
I hope that is not true. I want my daughter to have what my grandparents had, what I wanted. My grandparents were married for 50 years before my grandmother passed away; I always wanted that kind of marriage. My grandparents adored each other. In an era of “women’s work” my grandfather did his fair share of housework and helping with the grandkids he was truly my grandmother’s best friend. They never spoke harshly to each other, and when my grandmother died we could see that Pop had lost a huge part of his reason for living.
I’m glad that we are raising strong, independent women. I just hope it is not at the expense of the traditional family. How wonderful it must be to get it right. To find your soul mate and raise your children, together. To always be a family, to make those priceless memories that involve mom and dad.
I hope that this generation can see the mistakes of the previous generation and they want something better. For themselves and their children and that they learn that life is better when it’s shared.