I think one of the most difficult things to do in a marriage, or in any relationship, is to compromise. Compromise means you are willing to do your part to make something work. It often requires that you give something up.
Last week was one where compromise was greatly tested. My husband took a week of vacation, more or less just to use it up, along with the fact that our kids were on their first week of summer break.
However I was not on break, so I still had a full workload. Of course, working from home has a great many benefits but it can also be a challenge when your family is enjoying time off but you aren’t.
We both had to be willing to compromise. He wanted to spend time together but he also knew I had assignments to complete. I wanted to enjoy time with the family but I had responsibilities. I think the fact that we both recognized these things helped us to compromise.
I tried to get as much done in the morning as I could. Or I would put my work aside to stop and run to the store with him, or one day our family took a walk down by the lake. But then when we got back, my husband made sure the kids were quiet so I could finish up things.
While this may not seem like a big deal, it really is if you think about it. Let’s look at the same scenario from the perspective of not compromising.
If we hadn’t been willing to compromise the week would have been something like this…I would have been frustrated all week because my husband just didn’t seem to get it that I have work to do. Yes, it must be nice to have an entire week off but I don’t (catch the attitude?).
My husband would have been feeling rejected and lonely, spending an entire week off but having nothing to do. He would have felt like he was nothing more than an intrusion on my time.
Do you see how easily a lack of compromising can turn a situation around? Even in the little stuff a failure to compromise can change an entire day…it can change a mood…it can change the way couples interact.
Where can your marriage use a little more work in compromising? Why don’t you be the first one to step out and try it?
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It’s the Little Stuff That Causes Discord
Photo by Radu Mihai Onofrei in Stockvault