One question that pops up often from homeschooling moms is how to handle the naysayers. Some homeschoolers have experienced family members quizzing their children. Some are heartbroken by their family and friends criticizing their choice and questioning their ability to educate their children. Some are just tired of being interrogated about socialization, credentials or why their child is not in school as you stop at the grocery store at 11:00 am. Being questioned about a choice can be wearing and in extreme cases cause the homeschooler to question herself. What do you do?
How to Handle Family and Friends
First, you need to be confident and comfortable with your choice to homeschool. The feeling of unshakeable confidence will give you the courage and motivation to take what anyone says with a grain of sale. Second, understand that some family and friends are sincerely concerned or have real questions that maybe are not well formed. Give them that chance by answering with confidence a few questions. However, do not go so far to debate or defend your choice. If it reaches that level that is your queue to kindly tell them you are certain they love your child and want the best so they can be rest assured you are providing that and now the conversation is over. It is tempting to have some witty comebacks but I suggest holding off as to not appear to be self defensive. Be kind, firm and unshakeable. If that does not work remind them that you are the parent and responsible for the educational needs of your child. You did not ask them for permission nor do you need their approval.
How to Handle Strangers and Neighbors
Again, be confident and remain calm. If someone quizzes your child simply let them know your children are not on display. Relay the fact clearly that you are thrilled and your children are thriving since the decision to homeschool. Always try to be positive. Walk away if you need to or be firm and tell them the conversation is over. Don’t be shy as they were not shy about questioning your personal choices. Once my friend responded with, “My child does not make the decisions in my household”, when a neighbor told her that my friend’s child expressed interest in school. The neighbor did not speak of this again.
How to Handle Your Spouse
A spouse is a different matter entirely. I do not think homeschooling is a one parent decision or one parent project. A house divided will fall. The children will feel the sting and may resent being homeschooled or the parent who is against it. Does this mean the one who wants to homeschool relents? What this means is that a logical calm discussion needs to take place. Each spouse needs to respect and love each other enough to hear both sides. The one who wants to homeschool needs to present the idea in a calm fashion giving reasons and solutions to common issues. Most of the time the other parent is against the idea based on preconceived notions that are easily dealt with. Most importantly do NOT let this decision impact your marriage negatively.