One of the biggest challenges in helping to take care of my grandmother is when she refuses to get tests or take medicine prescribed by her team of doctors.
My grandmother’s memory problems have become a major concern for the rest of the family. We asked her general practitioner about what we could do about it. He requested an MRI before he would prescribe any medicine — he mentioned Aricept as a possibility for halting the memory loss where it was. She refused to get the MRI. A year later, the prescription is still hanging on the fridge.
Another doctor, suspecting that nerve damage was causing my grandmother’s neck, shoulder, and head pain, also asked for an MRI. She refused. Her excuse was that “an old lady is allowed to have some aches and pains.” So… a second prescription joins the first on the refrigerator.
On the days she doesn’t want to take her medicine, she has a hundred excuses. She forgot. She doesn’t need it. She’s tired of taking a fistful of pills every day. She’s old and she can do what she wants.
It’s a difficult line to walk between forcing the medicine or treatment on someone, and coaxing them into it. Logic works sometimes. You’re not that old. You do need it. It does x, y, and z for your body.
I’m reminded of a news story out of Iowa a few weeks ago. An eighty year old retired nurse had the words Do Not Resuscitate tattooed on her chest as a reinforcement of her living will. She wanted to make her wishes perfectly certain. Legal folks say the tattoo alone isn’t enough to stand up in court, but she does have the official documents to back it up.
If you have specific wishes about how YOUR medical care will be handled once you can’t take care of yourself any longer… make sure that your family knows them now.