The hardest thing as a parent is to see your child in pain. They fall, skin a knee, break an arm, get a broken heart, doesn’t matter what the pain is, it’s hard to watch and not want to fix it.
I think children of divorce have more than their fair share of emotional pain. There isn’t a child who doesn’t wish they would wake up in the morning and Daddy would still live with them. Every child who has suffered through their parents’ divorce harbors the secret hope that everything will work out and life will go back to the way it was.
There really isn’t anything we can do to fully ease their pain, all we can do is swallow our pride and make a huge effort to make sure they have a good relationship with their other parent. Encourage your child to call their father, to spend time with him, to share the day to day things in their lives. Every Dad will love to get a phone call about an A on a test or a new friend, or losing a tooth.
It’s important to remember that the non custodial parent misses out on all the little things that happen every day. The smile that greats you in the morning, the silly knock knock jokes, the shampoo Mohawk. All those things that make up life with your kids, they are missing out on. Share your children, everything, every day; make sure your child knows that it’s ok to call Dad for no reason at all. That it’s ok to go out for ice cream or a movie with Dad even when it’s not his night.
If you do those things, the pain your children feel won’t be as bad. They will feel loved and cherished by both parents. Too often children are used as a pawn in a divorce, this is the worst thing you can do. Sometimes it’s hard to be the bigger person, to smile and let your child spend time with their other parent but in the long run you are doing them a huge favor. They won’t forget and as adults they will be grateful that it was always ok for them to love both of you, without any guilt.