The statistics show that if you are child of divorce you are at a higher risk of your own marriage ending that way. Is there some pattern that we are subconsciously teaching our children when we get divorced? When I was a teenager I told myself, “I am not my mother. I’ll never end up like she did.” And yet, here I am in almost the exact same situation she was in over 20 years ago. Didn’t I learn how to have a healthy relationship? Didn’t I learn how to communicate effectively? Maybe, I did. Maybe, I didn’t. But how do we keep our own children from making the same mistakes that we did?
It is so important to teach our kids how to have healthy relationships. Talk to your kids about the importance of communicating their feelings from a young age. This will make it easier for them to continue as they get older because they have already made it a habit. When they learn to bottle up their feelings they never get a chance to work through them. Let them know that it is ok to feel those feelings. Teach them ways that they can express those feelings in healthy ways, whether it is talking about it, writing about it, or even drawing a picture. Don’t be angry at their feelings. Show them that you understand, and let them know that they can always come to you. It is important to teach them how to solve problems in their life. Don’t just give them the answers, but teach them how to find the answers on their own. Teaching them these kinds of things can go a long way in their future marriages. If they have learned these techniques when they were young, it saves them from having to try and figure it out on their own later, and maybe just maybe it can break the cycle and give them a fighting chance in their own relationships down the line.