We all know how important it is to read to our kids. It’s good for them as a learning tool and its good quality time. Our kids have our undivided attention for that little bit of time.
Reading together is also a time for our children to learn how to handle issues that arise in their lives. There are books about getting a http://baby.families.com/blog/bonding-moment-with-a-new-baby, books for going to the doctor or dentist, even books about when Grandma is sick. Some of the most important books we can read to our children are about divorce. Most kids internalize things, because they are so little they truly do think everything that happens is because of them, even Mommy and Daddy’s divorce.
There are many wonderful books for children about divorce. Books that will explain to them that it’s not their fault and let them know what to expect during and after the divorce. Just as you wouldn’t give you child only one food for dinner, you shouldn’t read one type of book. Go to the library and get some books for children about divorce, read one, in addition to the books you already read. Try to read a different one every night until your child finds on with a character she can really relate to, after a while, she will start to ask for that book.
Don’t make a big deal about it, read it just like you read the others and if your child has questions, answer them, but don’t bring them up. Let your child lead the discussion. Often the things we think we need to say are much more complicated than what the child wants to know. Where will my dog live? Can I still see Grandma and Grandpa? What about my toys? Where will I sleep at Daddy’s? Those are usually the things they want to know.
Read with your child, answer her questions, keep the lines of communication open. If you child can air her concerns in a safe environment she will be more likely to talk to you about the divorce now and then more complicated issues as she gets older. Books are a wonderful way to help your child deal with situations that are new to them, everything from the first day of school to a divorce. Always remember, they hear everything, and need to know that you are listening as well.