We all feel love differently and our children are no exception. When we learn to speak our child’s love language we give them a sense of security and well-being, which is especially important in cases of divorce. Each of our children are different and may need love expressed differently to them. When I was growing up, my mother had two children whose love language was very strongly physical touch. They needed hugs and kisses and a pat on the back. Mine was quality time. I wanted to do things together, to spend time together, and to have her full attention. She learned to express love in different ways, and in ways that weren’t her natural love language. Physical touch was always very low on her list, but she learned to express her love for my brother and sister that way because that is what they needed from her.
We all love our children in ways that at times seem impossible to describe. We love them in ways that they will never truly understand, but as we learn and grow and really get to know our children we can give them a glimpse of that love we feel for them. By using these love languages to communicate with your child you are able to meet their deepest emotional needs.
Divorce is a devastating thing for children; they had no say in this decision that has affected their little lives so drastically. During this time it is particularly important to show your child how much you love and care about them. We tend to speak to our children in our own love language rather than taking the time to discover theirs. While our efforts are admirable, they are much more effective if we understand our child’s primary love language and learn to speak it. Helping our child feel loved is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. They are much more likely to recover from this trauma if they are feeling a deep sense of love from their parents and others around them.