Abuse is a tricky topic that people are often not comfortable discussing. It can come in many forms, only some of which are obvious. Financial abuse is one of the ways that an abuser can harm their victim, and it is often directed at a spouse or domestic partner or an elderly relative. The effects of financial abuse can be devastating and can restrict the victim’s ability to leave the abusive relationship.
In marital and domestic relationships, an abuser often uses one or more tactics to restrict the other person’s access to money. They accomplish this by stealing money from them, opening joint credit cards and running up huge balances, draining joint bank accounts, “managing” the household finances by taking their paycheck and giving them a small allowance, or forcing them to stop working. In a world where money and freedom are so closely connected, it is easy to see how a victim of financial abuse can be prevented from leaving the relationship. Their limited access to money and often severely damaged credit score can stand in the way of getting housing, transportation, food, and other things that they will need if they go off on their own.
People that target elderly victims may go after family members. They also sometimes approach a “lonely” elderly individual who does not have much contact with friends and family and befriend the individual to gain their trust before offering to “help” them manage their finances. Often, elderly victims are persuaded by their abusers to sign over deeds, accounts, and power to manage their own affairs. The result is that the abuser often has unlimited access to their elderly victim’s financial resources.
If you suspect that you or someone that you know is being financially abused it is important that you seek help. There are things that you can potentially do to help protect yourself but please remember that your safety is of the utmost importance. You probably know the behaviors of the abuser fairly well and can decide whether the following suggestions are safe for you to do. If you can safely get a separate bank account, withdraw some money from joint accounts, make copies of important household financial information and stash them somewhere safe, and change your PIN numbers to codes that your abuser will not be able to decipher then you may be able to escape with some financial resources. If you can not safely do any of those things, you can still leave. There are agencies that can help you get back on your feet.