I read an article about the riots in London and this particular writer seemed to blame the riots, and everything else that’s wrong with society, on single parent homes. Wow.
I know there are women who choose to have children without a spouse, this is their choice and I’m sure they are more prepared for single parenthood than I was, but the majority of us are thrust into it unwillingly. When my daughter was born I never imagined she wouldn’t grow up without both of her parents in the home, and she is the reason I stayed married for eight long years after I knew I needed to leave.
I get upset when I read things like this, it makes it sound as if we have deliberately and without any consideration for our children, torn them from their fathers. Everyone I know who is a single mother struggled for a long time with the decision to leave, and at the front of that struggle were thoughts of her children. It is so easy to lay blame at the feet of broken families. I get so tired of hearing that children from single parent homes are more likely to do drugs, drop out of school, get pregnant, be abused, end up in prison and on and on and on.
If all of society’s ills are a result of single parent homes then what are we doing as a society to help? I firmly believe that children will live up, or down, to our expectations, so what are our expectations for these children? Prison? Drug and alcohol abuse? How discouraging it must be for teenagers from single parent homes to be bombarded with messages that they will never amount to anything?
It’s time we stopped pointing fingers and started helping. If you have a single parent friend or neighbor, lend a hand. It’s very hard to ask for help so look for areas where you can offer help. Sometimes it’s just the little things that help a single mom and her kids. If you are going to do a craft project with your daughters, see if her daughter would like to come over. If you are playing catch with your sons, invite her sons to play. Many times our children look to other adults as examples and for mentoring, you can be that adult.
If we make an effort to help these children when their world falls apart maybe we can make a difference. If we don’t help then we need to accept that society’s problems are our fault as well because if you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem.