Like the tides that ebb and flow, so do marriages…seasons and times where things go down but then come back up again.
Sometimes these ups and downs are caused by real troubles in life. It could be a job change, sickness, financial difficulties, rebellious children and other family problems. When life is on an even keel then we might feel like our marriage is flowing along smoothly.
But there are other times in our marriage when the ebb and flow isn’t caused by obvious life challenges. Sometimes we go through moments in our marriage when we allow feelings to dictate the flow of our marriage.
We begin to feel disappointed, disillusioned or discouraged. Sometimes these feelings are based on very real issues in the marriage but other times they come from small things that we begin to turn into mountains.
Recognizing that this is part of marriage will help you to get through it. Otherwise you might begin to think that your marriage just can’t survive. Your thinking becomes distorted. You say to yourself that there are just too many “down” moments, your feelings must surely count for something and you begin to believe that the bad times outweigh the good times.
When you focus on the ebb (the tide in your marriage going down), you lose hope of the flow (the tide going back up). You convince yourself that everything is sinking and you are going to hit the bottom.
Let’s face it…life is filled with up and down moments. And the one relationship we experience where this is the truest is in a marriage.
But if you are out on the open sea in a boat, you don’t abandon ship simply because the tide is moving. No, you keep going. If the tide gets rocky, you hold on tight. When all is going well, you sit back and enjoy the ride.
Embrace the reality that your marriage will ebb and flow…and then learn to adjust your sails accordingly.
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