Have you ever noticed that once you make up your mind to actually do something, action inevitably follows? For example, yesterday morning my husband and I decided to move a couple of things in the garage and within a couple of hours – the entire garage was cleaned out and reorganized. It only took us working together and decided we wanted to do a couple of things and that action took on a life of its own.
What Do You Want to Do?
When it comes to problems in your marriage, you need to think in terms of action. Love is not a passive item. It is not a noun. It’s a verb. It’s an action. It’s a direct result of to love. How do you demonstrate your to love? What actions illustrate it?
Your actions both verbal and physical are your ways of demonstrating how you love and the actions you take can provide you with opportunities. For example, let’s talk about ways of opening up the channels of communication. Maybe you wish you and your spouse could talk like you use to. Well, if that’s what you want to do – then take action. Don’t sit there cataloguing all the things your husband doesn’t do and don’t wait for him to reach out – you have noticed the problem, you take the action.
Now before you sit back and say just starting a conversation is not going to make things go back to the way they were, of course not. But just because putting a bucket under the leaking drip from your ceiling won’t repair the roof, does that mean you should continue to let the leak drip down on your floor?
Actions = To Do
When it comes to talking to your spouse – don’t just talk about what bills need to be paid and what is on the schedule for the kids. Start your day off by talking about your dreams, your plans or your ideas for the day. You can even talk about your fears. Tell a joke. When you are both home, talk about your experiences whether they are unique or ordinary.
The important thing about taking the action is to talk to each other and not to strategize. You are not making plans unless you are dream making. You are not dealing with the bills unless you are discussing that vacation you’ve both always talked about taking. Remember, just because you can’t afford it right now doesn’t mean you can’t sit and discuss it together.
Remember – when you think about it – thoughts become actions. Make your actions work for you – it only takes a few words to get the conversation started – and once you are talking – you’ve already taken the first step to reclaiming those talks you missed.