I typically don’t have a problem saying no to people. I guess that’s because I am a pretty organized, detailed person who likes plans, schedules and routines. So if something is going to distract me from what I need to, I can generally say no to it.
However, what I have noticed recently is that where I do struggle to say no is when something is related to my line of work. Once it gets out there that you are a professional in some field, you may suddenly find others in need of advice or help.
This has happened to me as a writer. I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard, “Oh, I always wanted to write something. I will have to talk to you about what I should do.” I’m not an expert in writing but I do love to share what I have learned. However if I stretch myself too thin in this, then I find myself taking on more than I should.
Because what often happens is that the other person wants more than just advice. They want someone to walk them through their journey. But I have learned it’s a personal journey that most times needs to be walked alone. After all, especially in the field of writing, there are so many paths that can be taken and no two will look the same.
I have had people ask me to read their book, edit their work, write something for them and so on. If I were to spend all of my time doing these things, I would never have time for my own stuff.
At one point this past year I found myself spending more time helping others and doing what I could to further their home business dream, that I wasn’t putting in the time required for my own. So I began to learn how to say no.
It’s not always easy. Sometimes you feel bad, as if you are putting someone down. Or you may feel like you are being selfish, not willing to share what you know with others. But the reality is that learning to say no is important to any successful home business. You can’t build a business if you are always helping someone else.
Yet at the same time it doesn’t dismiss you from being a help to someone. It really all comes down to balance. Say yes to those things you know you can do without it causing undue hardship but say no to those things that will cause unnecessary problems and delays in your own business.
Do you struggle with saying no?
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Photo by Katie Tegtmeyer in Flickr