This week, Paul Tough of the New York Times wrote an article called, “What if the Secret to Success is Failure?” He references the work of Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson, psychologists who have studied character traits and how they shape a person’s success in life.
I heartily agree with his line of questioning. What if we don’t learn best by sailing down the smooth path of life? What if we can learn much, much more from our mistakes and the challenging situations that make us pause, worry, and cringe? What then?
You see, there’s this worry parents have about their children. They don’t want their children to experience pain. I certainly don’t. But as the article argues, we need to recognize that a certain amount of failure is good. Without challenges, our children won’t know how to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and try again.
From an adult perspective, I have to agree. Some of the biggest life lessons I’ve had as an adult come from things that I’ve done wrong or things that have gone wrong.
I’ve traveled and done research in other countries, places where life works differently, customs are unfamiliar, and the language is something that I wade through with effort. From this, I learned that having backup plans is good. And having backup plans for your backup plans? Even better!
I had a child. That wasn’t wrong, but boy, does it give me a chance to fail and get frustrated on a day to day and minute to minute basis. Lots of opportunities to challenge myself there.
I got a chronic illness, one that requires constant management. It too makes me fail regularly. Through chronic illness and having a child, I have learned that perfection is not possible, and that settling for “as good as I can be, under the circumstances” is often what I need to strive for.
I’ve built organizations and businesses: a number of them. Some have failed, or have gone on the back burner. Some have thrived, but only with the utmost effort. Through this, I’ve learned that hard work and learning about things that are not my forte are necessary for success. I’ve also learned that good planning and relationship-building will help you succeed as you create an organization. Those exam scores don’t mean much after you finish college. It’s your character that matters.
As an adult, what failures have made you strong? Over the next few blogs, we’ll explore the opportunities that homelearners have to develop strong character traits in their children.
Image credit: Zoofythelj