My mother’s greatest fear when she and her ex husband split up was what was going to happen to her children. She had silently lived with the abuse for years before he finally left. When they were married she did what she could to shield us from the horror she was living, I was the only one old enough to really understand much of what was going on. I remember him shoving her against the car, breaking down doors, and throwing her across the room while she was holding my two month old baby brother. Still I can’t imagine living through what she went through. How do you send your children into the arms of the man that caused you so much pain for so many years? She had no choice. She prayed the day would never come that she had to protect us, but it did. Two of her children now have protective orders from him and the other has been abused, but has a strong loyalty to his father in spite of everything.
My mom did everything she could to arm us when we were younger. She talked to us about not letting anyone touch us anywhere our swimsuit covered. She told us that we never had to do something that we knew wasn’t right. She taught us to look out for each other.
When we got home she would talk to us and check us for bruises, praying she didn’t find anything. Unfortunately she did on more than one occasion. If by chance you do find suspicious bruising on your child call your pediatrician right away. If DCFS needs to be involved let them make the call, that takes you out of the equation. It may also be important to get your child in to a counselor so that they can talk about what happened and work through their feelings with someone who is less intimately involved in the situation.
We all pray that we will never be in this kind of a position with our children, but it is important to know what to do if the day comes when you find yourself faced with the unthinkable.