When my children were younger, my husband did a great job spending time with them and enjoying them. One thing I have noticed over the years is that as our children have gotten older, it has become more difficult for him in knowing how to interact.
Now I don’t say this to put him down. From what I have heard, it’s a common problem for many fathers. When the kids are younger, it’s nothing to get on the floor and roughhouse. It’s even okay to sit down with your daughter and play tea party.
But then along come the years where hormones begin ramping up and attitudes develop. The children begin to change, no longer spending their time playing. Instead, they barricade themselves in their room and sometimes act like they don’t want you around.
It can be difficult for any parent. This can be a real test of your marriage, learning how to navigate these rocky waters together.
What I have noticed lately is that my husband and I tend to “coach” each other. It works great. He really doesn’t understand our 14-year-old daughter sometimes, so I will coach on him what to say and what not to say. Sometimes I coach him on whether or not it is a good idea to knock on her bedroom door.
But I have my own struggles with my youngest son (which I attribute to the fact that we are so much alike), so my husband will coach me as well. We didn’t really plan for this to happen but it seems to be something that has naturally occurred.
Marriage can definitely be tested when you throw children into the mix. In our family we have two teens and one just 6 months shy of becoming a teen. So needless to say it, events in our home can definitely get “interesting.”
But I don’t put my husband down when it seems like he isn’t handling a situation the right way, nor does he for me. Instead, we try to talk later on when the kids are out of ear shot. We don’t criticize each other. But we do coach each other and it seems to be a healthy way to work out our differences.
How do you and your spouse deal with some of the challenges you face in parenting?
Related Article:
Children Turning Parents against Each Other
Is Alzheimer’s a Reason to Get Divorced?
Photo by anitapatterson in morgueFile