My niece is getting married on Saturday. My sister’s only child will now be someone’s wife. Terrie and Nia have been on their own most of Nia’s life, her father chose not to take an active role in her upbringing so it’s been just the two of them.
Now, Nia is getting married. As a single parent I sympathize with my sister. You want your children to grow up and leave the nest, you know they have to, it’s part of life. Everyone needs to stand on their own two feet but I think when you are a single parent and it’s your only child who’s leaving, it kind of leaves you at loose ends.
What now? For almost nineteen years my sister has defined herself as Nia’s mother. Terrie has a job and all the normal responsibilities but her biggest job has been raising Nia. When you think about all the things you do every day that revolve around your child, even when that child is no longer a baby, it’s amazing how much time goes into raising these kids. What is she going to do now?
I’m sure a child getting married is a big deal to all parents but when you are married you have someone to share the joy and the sadness with, when you are single, you are on your own. I think this is one of the hardest parts of being a single parent; there is no one to share those feelings with. Yes, you can share them with your friends and family but no one else is her parent and understands how you really feel.
I’m going to try to be extra supportive of my sister, spend more time with her, have a few sister outings. Hopefully I can help her remember all the things she did before her world revolved around raising a child alone.
It’s a hard transition, I’m sure there will be tears and sadness, along with the joy of Nia’s new life. It’s going to take a while but it’s important to realize that as our children begin making a life with someone else, it doesn’t mean our life is over, or that they need us any less.