So often as single parents we feel guilty for disciplining our children. We don’t want to be seen as the “mean” parent. You’re afraid that your kids won’t want to be with you anymore and they’ll go running to your ex. Make sure that your kids know that even though Mom and Dad don’t live together anymore they are still a team. It is important that you and your ex communicate about your rules and expectations for your children. Have clear consequences at both houses. You both need to take responsibility and discipline your children. Just because you are divorced doesn’t mean all of the responsibility should fall on one or the other.
Madeleine L’Engle, famous novelist and author of A Wrinkle in Time, once said, “The entire purpose of a loving punishment is to teach, and it lasts only as long as is needed for the lesson. And the lesson is always love.” Just letting your children get away with bad behavior doesn’t teach them anything. If you want them to grow and be successful you have to help them understand what is appropriate and what isn’t. Help them understand the natural consequences of their decisions. Remind them that you love them, even though you don’t love what they did. Mistakes are a natural part of life, you make them, your children make them. But the important thing is that we use these mistakes as little teaching moments for our children.
Keep in mind that you are a parent. Saying no a hundred times a day is just part of the deal. Once you have come to accept that, you can go forward without feeling the guilt of disciplining your child. You are just doing your job. You aren’t doing anything wrong. Discipline is about love. If you love them, help show it in the way you discipline them.