Tonight at Girl Scouts we were talking about what makes everyone different and special. When it came time for my daughter Rebecca who is 8 to share she mentioned she is adopted and that she has a brother who is black and one that is white. Now you would have thought Santa walked in the room with his Naughty or Nice list, the girls all sat there with their eyes nice and wide and their mouths hanging open. Poor Rebecca looked at me like what did I say that was wrong.
I jumped in (benefit of being troop leader) and said that Rebecca was right that we had adopted Rebecca and her two brothers. I explained how they all had the same tummy mommy and just different tummy daddy’s. When I explained it like that it was funny how many of the girls spoke up and said that they have brothers and sisters that have different dads.
Their families skin colors all matched but ours didn’t but it is basically the same thing. Our kids even though they don’t match still are biological brothers and sisters. They are all being raised in the same house by the same parents so how much different is this than if a mother has multiple biological fathers for her children?
The girls seemed to understand when I explained it that way and compared how their siblings have different dads and some even different last names. They all seemed to get it so why is so much harder for the grownups to get it?
I have had adults why we did not just take the white siblings and let a family of color adopt their brother. The answer is simple they are all siblings, we don’t care what color they are or if they came with stripes and polka dots. How could we ever explain to the ones we kept when they get old enough to learn more about their biological family that they had another brother that we could have taken but did not because he did not match our family? A child is a child period end of story. All a child needs is a family to love them and all three of our kids have that.
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