I am convinced that Laffy Taffy was created by a starving dentist.
How else do you explain its concrete-like texture and magical ability to transform into a sugary rubber band when mixed with body heat and saliva?
It’s the devil’s candy of choice, and in our house it takes a direct flight from my kid’s Halloween treat bucket to the trash can, though I have considered storing the colorful wads of sweet cement and handing them out to trick-or-treaters exactly 365 days after my daughter collects them. Goodness knows their consistency can’t get any worse with age.
Clearly, I don’t expect to be getting a gift card in the mail from Nestle/Willy Wonka Candy Company any time soon.
And by any time soon I mean NEVER!
Believe me; I am not shedding tears on my Snickers bar thinking about it, if you catch my drift.
For me it’s Laffy Taffy (and yes, my kid feels the same way about the tooth-breaking, jaw-injuring candy). For you it might be Necco Wafers, Raisinets or violet-scented chewing gum.
Oh wait, those are mine too.
In any event, we all have a list of worst Halloween treats-—ever.
Toothbrushes and random rolls of pennies included.
The aforementioned are more trick than treat in my book, but some kids celebrate anything that lands in their Halloween bag, bucket or old pillowcase. In those cases it’s up to the parents to help sift through the loot and decipher what’s safe to keep.
Of course, “safe” is a relative term.
For example, I don’t think it’s safe to give any kid under the age of 12 hard candy in the shape of a ball. Sour, sweet or somewhere in between, you don’t allow a little kid to suck on a piece of candy that fits perfectly in their airway.
I also question the safety of plastic trinkets, such as fake teeth and recycled kids’ meals toys. Not only do I not want more plastic junk cluttering my home, I really, really don’t want my kid’s Halloween bucket used as the dumping ground for grimy used Happy Meal toys.
What do you extract from your kid’s Halloween loot?
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