If I can find the light at the end of any dark tunnel in raising teenagers, I will gladly look for it. Because I truly do believe that even the most challenging moments can bring about some good.
So imagine my surprise and delight when I recently read that a new study finds teenagers who challenge their parents are more likely to stand up under peer pressure.
There are usually two kinds of homes. In one type of home, teens can never question anything their parents say. They must simply do as they were told. In the other type of home, they have the right to express their opinions and viewpoints without facing repercussions.
Our home tends to lean more toward allowing our teens to express their opinions. It doesn’t mean we will always agree with them and it doesn’t mean they will get what they want, but I do value their feelings and thoughts. I think they have every right to state how they feel, even if it’s to disagree with me.
And they do a pretty good job at this. There have been times when they have changed my mind about something. There have also been times when I have thanked them for their viewpoint but went forward with my way.
Specifically, this study found that when teens are able to openly express how they feel with their mom they were better at resisting peer pressure. I can see why this might be.
If you never have a say, if your thoughts and feelings are always dismissed, you might not have much confidence. But if you are heard and you are valued, you are more likely to feel secure. That can carry over into other areas, including having the ability to resist peer pressure.
Even though I allow for my teens to challenge me on decisions, it doesn’t mean I allow it to happen with disrespect. That is the key. But this study sure makes me feel better about the benefits this has.
Do you allow your teen to challenge you?
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Respect Your Teen’s Values and Beliefs
As a Parent We Are Always Learning
Acknowledging Your Teen’s Pain
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