Today is one of those days. One of those days I question if I am equipped to homeschool. One of those days I question if I am equipped to manage a home. One of those days the kids all seem to be doing something to make me crazy. One of those days I am driving myself crazy. The state of my home is a wreck. I look around and I have a pile of laundry, pile of work, pile of homeschool materials, piles of toys and piles of junk all around me. I hear crying from a preschooler, whining from a sixth grader, silence from an eighth grader (she does her school in her room), and fussing from a first grader. My head is about to explode and if I could wade through the mess in the kitchen I may think about starting dinner. Of course, it is one of those days when nothing is defrosted and I can’t find a thing to make. The madness has to end. Before I can regroup, I end up sending my first grader upstairs before she could finish her math lesson. The entire time in my thinking that if she were in school she would not miss a lesson due to fussiness so I must be doing something wrong. Worse, I doubt she would be fussy in school. My mind is spinning.
Stop. Regroup. Take a deep breath. Grab a cup of tea. Take a little break.
We all have days that make us feel like we will crumble beneath the weight of all there is to do. We all question ourselves at times. Most of the time, we are too hard on ourselves. When I feel my neck stiffen from wearing too many hats, I tend to avoid it. It isn’t until I feel my neck breaking do I remember to regroup and remember to be in the moment. If I am in the moment teaching math then I am not rushing through to get to the next task. If all I do all day is get to the next task then everything is done half heartedly and I feel horrible. Just taking a little break to write this changed my perspective and reminded me that life is chaotic but it is also filled with blessings. Blessings that come with sticky hands and messy rooms. When your neck stiffens from wearing too many hats, take them off and put on one at a time.