Today I was reminded again of how hard it is when your kids lie. My friends little girl told a pretty big lie, she got scared on her way to school and said someone tried to abduct her. Of course the police were out in force, parents were notified and the news crews came in. A few hours later she told them she lied.
I can’t imagine how her Mom feels, living through every parents worst nightmare and then, after all these community resources are expended, to find out it wasn’t true.
Most people have been cruel, pointing a finger at my friend, who is divorced from her daughter’s father and was a single mother for a while. She is remarried now but that doesn’t seem to matter, she must have done something wrong and divorce is a big enough red flag for everyone to wave.
Kids make mistakes, they get scared and things get blown out of proportion. It happens, it doesn’t make her a horrible child or my friend a bad mother. This little girl is only nine, and while she knows a lie from the truth, she was scared.
As a single mother it was always devastating to me when Hailey would lie. I think if there are two parents in the home there is a better chance of one of you seeing through the lie. My guilt made me more susceptible, I believed her and was heartbroken when I found out she wasn’t honest.
I would beat myself up, think of all the things I should have done better. I worried that our relationship wasn’t close enough if she didn’t feel like she could tell me the truth.
Unfortunately, our children are going to lie. Whether we are married or divorce something is going to happen and they are going to lie to us. Didn’t you lie to your parents? Maybe they weren’t as big as the lie my friend’s little girl told, but they were still not the truth.
After Hailey lied to me the first time my go to solution was to check. I didn’t let her know I was checking but I checked. She was going to Kelsey’s, I would drive her and wait until she was inside. She didn’t have homework, I would check online. Eventually she earned my trust back.
Has she always been truthful? I’m sure she hasn’t, we all tell little white lies from time to time, even though we know it’s wrong. All we can do is emphasize that part of being allowed privileges is being someone we can trust.