How many times do we ask our husband if something we are wearing makes us look fat? When we ask that question we rarely think about the position of the other person. If the cringing is not enough indication, just know the question makes your husband uncomfortable. He struggles with telling the truth or telling a lie. Do you want him to lie to you? If you indicate you want truth but the truth sends you in a tailspin of emotion then chances are he will avoid the truth. However, some want a real answer. This does not mean that the question is not loaded. So what is a man to do? What does a woman really want?
Steve Siebold, author of Die Fat or Get Tough; 101 Differences in Thinking Between Fat People and Fit People, did a survey asking women what they really wanted to hear when they ask this question. Shockingly, he found they wanted the cold hard truth.
Here is what he found:
*Survey results indicated that most women say the strongest relationships are those built on 100% trust. When you throw her up against the wall of objective reality and force her to see herself as others see her, she’ll emerge victorious, fit and healthy – and your relationship will improve in the long run because of the honesty.
*Women need to stop philosophizing and speculating about how and why they are fat. It doesn’t matter. All he cares about is you getting thin and healthy. When he says you look good but he doesn’t mean it, he’s actually helping to keep you fat.
*Most women said hearing the truth was hard at times, but it made those times her husband said she looked beautiful that much more meaningful because she knew he meant it.
*Women who ask this are suffering from approval addiction, or valuing the opinions of others over their own. She knows the extra pounds are showing or she wouldn’t have asked in the first place. Don’t give her that false sense of hope; Man up and don’t let her play the role of the victim.
It may not be easy to be honest when asked this question but apparently honesty will cause a person to do something and make a change.
What do you think?