After going through a divorce it is easy to get bogged down with negativity. We begin filling our backpacks with rock after rock after rock and before long, the weight on our shoulders is keeping us from moving forward and climbing the mountains before us.
When I was going through my divorce my self-esteem was at an all time low. Every morning I would look in the mirror and start piling the rocks in my backpack. “Nobody is going to want me now.” Clunk! “I’m not pretty enough.” Clunk! “I’m not skinny enough.” Clunk! “I couldn’t keep my marriage together. Therefore, there must be something wrong with me.” Clunk! I felt completely worthless and I was carrying around that weight with me from the moment I woke up until the moment I laid my head down again. I was beyond miserable. Looking back, I know how irrational these thoughts were, but they were there nonetheless; my constant companions.
Months went by and I still felt this way. I wanted to be happy, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t see the woman that everyone else seemed to see. My divorce had destroyed me and I was left wondering who I was and where I was going from here. I was bitter at my situation. I felt helpless. My choices were not the ones that put me here and yet I was left to pick up the pieces. The trail was steep and rocky and my backpack was weighing me down. I found that while I could not change the trail, I could change what was in my backpack, and I begun to do just that. I began removing the negativity from my life. I tried to reach outside of myself and see myself through other’s eyes. I had overcome something great, there was no need to carry the rocks in my backpack anymore. I still had a rough road ahead of me, but this time I wasn’t weighed down like before.
The climb was by far the most difficult thing I have ever gone through, but without it I never would have been able to see the view from the top of that mountain. I was given a second chance at happiness, and it was worth every step.