Signals tend to get crossed, so subtlety might not work when trying to make a point without coming right out and stating it. In some marriages, it only takes a look, a sigh, to get the other person’s attention, while in others it seems like it takes a hammer. There is a lot to discuss when it comes to reading signals, but this article is about specific signals. It makes sense to come up with specific signals with your spouse, so both of you know when the other wants to communicate something discreetly, is uncomfortable or needs something, but is not able to say so out loud.
Here are some examples:
Here’s an easy one. When someone else is nearby or the kids are in the room, you can’t exactly say something sexy or start whispering sweet nothings in your honey’s ear. You can however wink or blow a discreet kiss. It’s very sexy, like a secret shared.
What if you’re at a party and you inadvertently had a little too much wine or you aren’t feeling well? What if one of the guests is acting like a jerk? You don’t want to make a scene, but you want to let your husband know that you would like to leave. Agree on a signal ahead of time, such as pulling on your left ear. He can use the same signal if the loud, obnoxious guy from work is telling him the same story for the seventh time.
It’s also a good idea to have a signal if you are afraid you might be in trouble. Say your husband is across the dance floor in a noisy club and can’t hear you, but some jerk is trying to make a move on you and he isn’t taking no for an answer. Maybe your husband is waiting in the car while you run in the gas station and another customer is giving you a hard time or making you uncomfortable. You should have a signal that lets him know you need immediate help, and make sure you clearly agree on that signal ahead of time.