I make no secret that I have gained weight since the birth of my last (fourth) child. I thought with nursing the weight would melt off like with the others but no such luck. So after having a baby, not working out, and not watching what I eat the weight not only stuck but multiplied. Ever since I have struggled with losing weight in the midst of keeping up with kids, a business, and homeschooling. I have seen fat jeans become too small. I have been on the cusp of wearing plus size clothes. I have been ashamed of how I look. I am short with a small frame so an extra 30 to 40 pounds doesn’t hide well. I went from looking okay to not too bad to looking like someone who is unmistakably chubby.
One of the biggest obstacles for me was being ashamed of how I look. I did not want to see old friends because I was certain once I left the conversation would start with “Did you see how fat she got?” I just could not bare it. I put off seeing people to give myself time to lose at least ten pounds. I have a friend I would love to visit but have not seen since I was thin. I planned on not seeing her until I lost at least twenty pounds. I even hate seeing people who know me at my current weight because I have finding something to wear that doesn’t make me feel gross.
Then one day it happened. A friend I had not seen in years had a baby. I could not avoid seeing her any longer. I wanted to visit with her and see her new little baby. To be honest, my weight was an afterthought but as I was getting ready, I did think of it. But you know what? The dread of presenting my fat body subsided because the heat is bigger then the weight gain. We had a fantastic time, I knew that my shame had kept me, on occasion, from good times. Isn’t that silly? I know I am it the only one who struggles with shame of weight gain. I know some know the feelings I have all too well. Let me encourage you to not allow your life to be ruled by superficial means. Quite simply, make a plan to lose weight and feel better but do not punish yourself in meantime. M