Being a single parent changes you, there’s no doubt about that. Every day I’m surprised by the things I never thought I could do that I do now, without even batting an eye.
I was very much a traditional wife. I worked outside of the home but at home I did all the housework, laundry, cooking and child care. I gardened a little in my flower beds and vegetable garden but the major yard work was left to my ex husband. I took care of the inside of my house, he took care of the outside.
It worked, but it also left me unprepared to live alone. I didn’t know how to unclog a toilet or check the oil in my car. Those were things he did.
As a single mother I’ve learned to do it all. There is no one else, if something is going to get done, unless I pay someone to do it, I have to figure out how to do it myself.
In some ways there has been a huge learning curve. I expected things to work, if I pulled out the vacuum and turned it on, if it didn’t work, that became his job, not mine. I would come back when the vacuum was fixed and finish my part of the job. Now, I’ve taken apart more vacuums than I care to think about. Some of them never worked again because I couldn’t figure out how to get them back together but the first time I fixed one it was a huge feeling of accomplishment.
There are some things that I am just physically not strong enough to do, but those are few and far between. I can fix just about everything in my house, the car is still a mystery but I can usually find someone to help me with that.
When I was first divorced I felt completely unprepared to be the only adult in my house. As time passed I grew more confident in my abilities. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that I can take care of us, in all ways. My divorce has given me a confidence that I never knew before.