The big arguing points for newly weds are finances and circumstances, and the first few months can be very stressful if you are forced to live somewhere uncomfortable while you are looking for a bigger apartment or waiting for your new house deal to close.
If this is the case, you may end up staying with in-laws for a time, and that can be extremely hard on newly weds. If you are in her mother’s house, mom may not be entirely ready to let go of her little girl, or if it’s a case of staying with his parents, you may find yourself battling for attention with your new mother in law, even if everyone involved was for the marriage.
Under the best circumstances, stress for newlyweds is a fact of a new arrangement. You will have to rethink your financial debts, merge all types of insurance, and change your last name( if that’s what you wish, many women are choosing to keep their last names and simply adding the new last name with a hyphen, which is much simpler and less expensive.) Most of the stress in new marriages involves moving, though, and that can be very stressful even if you’ve been married for years.
Remember why you got married. It wasn’t to argue over a new home or become stressed out over small things. Keep your sense of humor, stop and listen when the other person is speaking and what ever you do, don’t shut down. You will need to keep the lines of communication open as well as you can during this adjustment period. The good news is that communication seems to be at its best during the first year of marriage, while everything is still exciting and new. The challenge is to continue to keep it open after you’ve been married for the first few years, but that is another article.
Maintain a place in your faith during the first year(and always.) your church group and help you with the rough spots and provide support and direction as there are many couples in your congregation who have been married for years and guess what? They all went through the first year together. They probably have many great inspirational stories as well as some amusing anecdotes to help you get through the first year, so accept the support that they will undoubtedly offer you.
This is not the time for spending any undo amount with friends who would lead you astray, as in a long night of partying or co workers who want you to continue to go out after work like you did when you were married. You are an autonomous person, that’s true, but remember you made a promise and a commitment and you need to change a few habits when transitioning from single to married-staying out all night is definitely one of them.
Keep on the firing line with these ideas in mind and you will be on your way to many years of happy marriage.