This is such a strange time in my life. When I got divorced I tried dating and decided that what I really wanted to do was focus on raising my daughter. Now, she is nineteen and married. I thought I had more time, I didn’t realize that she was really grown up.
Well, not really, she just thinks she is. So I’m settling into this life of what to do after the kids are raised. If I had younger children at home I’m sure it wouldn’t be so bad but she was my only. Now she no longer lives here.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad. My house stays clean. The kitchen sink isn’t piled with dishes. I don’t have a houseful of teenage girls around all the time. There is a flip side to everything, as crazy as they are, I loved having Hailey’s friends around. I loved the noise and mess that came with my daughter and her friends. Now, sometimes, it’s too quiet in here.
I’m adjusting, trying to figure out who I am now that I’m not a full time mom. The time I spend with my daughter now is more precious than ever. We are growing into our adult relationship. It’s still very hard for me not to give her advice all the time. I know she is trying to figure things out on her own and doesn’t want my interference.
It’s hard though, when I see something she could change that I think would make her happier, but I’m learning to bite my tongue. I’m trying to give Hailey and my son in law the space they need to figure out how to be married adults.
Sometimes I’m sad because she doesn’t need me anymore. Then I come home from work and there is a mountain of laundry in the basement waiting to be done. I guess she still needs me for some things.