After a few weeks of relatively smooth sailing as far as potty learning is concerned, Dylan has started to regress. I think that this started some time yesterday, and there were quite a few accidents today. As tempting as it was to tell him that little boys who treat their underwear like diapers will wear diapers, I resisted. Instead, I decided that I would do some research on potty learning regression.
The first thing that I learned about regression is that it is quite common. That does not take the frustration away, but it reassures me that this is not something that I need to be overly concerned about. Regression after mastering a new skill is not unique to potty learning, either. It can happen with any skill, like walking or riding a bike.
Speaking of the frustration, I admit it. I am frustrated. I am frustrated because there seems to be no reason why the accidents are happening. Most of them happen at home, where the potty is within easy reach and I am always available to help. Today, I learned that there are a few common fears that children can develop related to the potty. These include fear of losing a part of themselves down the potty, and fear of hearing a toilet flush. These fears can seem real enough to a child that he or she has accidents instead of using the potty.
The aforementioned potty fears are not likely to be what is holding Dylan back from using the potty. He loves toilets and he especially likes to flush the toilet. Fears aside, there are some other reasons that kids have accidents. Kids sometimes don’t want to stop playing to use the potty. After a while, the “game” of learning to use the potty and keeping one’s pants dry gets boring. Using the potty is something that big kids do, and growing up can seem scary. I think that the first two reasons, and maybe even the third, are probably what is going on.
So, what’s the parent of a toddler in toileting transition to do? Keep calm, and potty on. I am glad that I did not revert back to diapers or pull ups. While it would have kept Dylan’s clothes dry, it could have damaged his self esteem. Continuing to potty on, accidents and all, will show him that I have faith in his ability to use the potty. I can wash wet clothes, but repairing emotional damage is not so easy. Speaking of damage, I do have to do some damage control because yesterday and today, I messed up and made a big deal about all of the accidents because they were so numerous. What can I say, I’m only human. Tomorrow I will return to treating accidents like I had been treating them when he started using the potty – like it’s no big deal. As with any setback, this, too, shall pass.
Photo by wax 115 on morguefile.com.