No one likes to get into fights, especially with the one they love, but sometimes in marriages fights occur and one or both people get hurt at what is said. Avoiding conflict may seem like a good idea, but if avoidance means living with unresolved issues, such a stance is not good.
The key to a good marriage is openly discussing the pros and cons of issues that surface. Fighting is often a sign of not being able to communicate your thoughts clearly and objectively, and one or both people get frustrated because the other person isn’t listening or refusing to understand. A heated argument can turn into a screaming fit and a full-blown fight emerges. Now what?
Counting to ten is too late at this point, but resolving to cool off and try to communicate later might be a good thing. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break and revisiting the discussion when both are at a better place. Remember, sometimes a person is under a lot of emotional stress causing them to feel more volatile. They may not tell you, and you may not be a mind reader, so you may have to learn to read their nonverbal cues. Sighing, irritability, feeling tired; being short in conversations and etc. are all signs that it may not be the best time to have a discussion on a sensitive topic.
Couples know that the best part of fighting is making up. Many report that sex after a good fight can be great! They also find that laughing becomes a great icebreaker. Joking around and elevating the mood with laughter can really help the “making up” process go smoothly. Some people find that teasing each other helps the situation as well.
Making up should revolve around a special ritual. Here are five ideas:
1. Making love is one great way to show forgiveness and understanding.
2. Fixing their favorite meal.
3. Going out to a special place or favorite hang out.
4. Giving them a card or gift showing your love and calling a truce.
5. Openly telling them how much you love and appreciate them, despite the differences.
Remember, making up is the best part of the fight. Get creative!
