Oftentimes, after going through a relationship breakup people experience loneliness. Parents, especially of younger children, may ask how they could possibly feel lonely when their children are with them constantly and they are working long hours around a multitude of other people. Loneliness occurs with loss of all types, death, divorce and even a lost friendship.
People who have been in a long term relationship may miss the intimacy, the good parts of the relationship and sometimes even the bad parts of the relationship because at some level they were at least interaction with another adult.
According to Dictionary.com being lonely is defined as “lacking companions or companionship” Loneliness by this definition is a state of being and not just a feeling or emotion. The act of being lonely is often aggravated by our own self-imposed seclusion and lack of desire to be with others. The good news is that this can be remedied when the time is right. Do not push yourself through the grieving process too quickly, and especially do not initiate another intimate relationship before you have had an appropriate amount of time to heal.
Some ways to overcome loneliness are:
Reach out to friends. Call trusted old friends and seek new friends-especially other single parents whom you build friendships with. Don’t wait for your phone to ring-initiate a get together.
Trust that the pain will pass. Know that the pain of your loss will pass. The feelings will not always be as intense as they are initially.
Join a group. Find a fun group that does an activity that you enjoy, like a book club or theatre group that you can learn a new skill or participate in something that you like to do.
Get the support you need. After experiencing loss, emotions can vary dramatically and needs will also vary. Don’t ignore the symptoms of depression (which is part of the grieving process), such ass loss of appetite, lack of sleep, ongoing intense feelings of anger, and overall not feeling good or positive about most things in your life. Go to a support group or an individual counselor for help.
Turn to God for strength. Let your faith be like a rock holding you steady in this tumultuous time. If you are a regular church-goer, continue going to church. If you have never or have not attended a church in years, find one that you like and start attending on a regular basis. Read spiritual books and listen to spiritual music to help lift you up.
Volunteer or reach out to others.Helping others is often the best way to get outside of ourselves. Help at a homeless shelter, animal shelter, or battered women’s shelter. Most non-profit organizations accept volunteers and can always use a helping hand.