A baby will affect your marriage. Married life changes after children arrive purely because of the amount of time a baby takes up and needs. However the new mother needs to be very careful at this time that her husband does not feel excluded and pushed to the periphery.
Try and involve your husband as much as possible holding the baby, helping with feeding if bottle fed. If baby is breast fed then you will have to find other ways to involve your spouse. Let him read to them. Yes, I did say read. I‘m a great believer that children should be read to from birth. That is what we did with both of ours and what our son and his wife have done with their children.
No, it’s not easy to find time. But nothing worthwhile ever is. We’ll never find the time. We’ve got to make it – make it a priority. Or let your husband help at bath time. Or amusing baby while you read or rest or get prettied up. Just make sure he gets to enjoy and become familiar with baby.
One of the joys at our church is seeing one young father. He almost always has the baby holding her, talking to her, rocking her. It’s lovely to see. They have build up a real bond.
Another important aspect is not putting your life on hold just because you have a baby. A baby should never stop you going out and spending time with friends or as a couple.
Yet sadly, I see too many marriages where once the wife becomes a Mom she seems to feel every waking moment must be devoted to the baby and its needs. She becomes so fixated on the baby that she neglects her husband and cuts herself off from friends and will hardly go out of the house. This is quite simply not good for the young mother or her husband. It is not goof for the baby either to be the focus of so much attention. It’s like some of the young moms cut themselves off from life and then wonder why they start to go a bit stir crazy.
Join me tomorrow for suggestions how to overcome this.
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