After reading some of the forum posts by tmwhalens, I thought I’d share a story of lives and one marriage that has had more than the usual problems and every day hassles to overcome.
Ron Brookman says when he first married he says ‘it was for all the wrong reasons.’ It was more about keeping up appearances and trying to subvert and hide his homosexuality. Ron had two children with his first wife. The marriage was dysfunctional and unhappy. After she left him, from time to time he visited places in search of a homosexual relationship. This was despite the fact he was a minister and the conflict within him self that told him homosexuality was not consistent with Biblical teaching.
In 1990 he listened to John White – a Christian psychiatrist speaking about sexual sins.
After this he began to meet regularly with a pastor and so began a journey of healing and transformation.
In 1994 he married his second wife. Yet it was not an honest beginning to the marriage as fearing rejection he never told her about his past. His wife, Ruth considers it was a ‘dishonoring’ of her and ‘a breach of trust.’ It was a couple of years later before he admitted the truth about himself and his past.
Understandably they both had to rethink their whole marriage situation. She loves him and has stood by him as he faced rejection by some people, when news of his past became public.
Because of her experience Ruth is able to help other women who find themselves in a similar situation. She believes Ron is totally a changed man and will not be unfaithful to her or revert to his past lifestyle. They have learned she says, to be very open and transparent in their relationship. Ron and Ruth are the parents of 3 children together.
This couple ultimately found that honesty and openness has helped them overcome the problems and brought a pace to their marriage. She no longer feels he is hiding something from her.
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Honesty- The Double Edged Sword
Do Some People Change After Marriage?