1am – Wake up, search for the body pillow that fell to the floor. Spend five minutes getting comfortable. Drift back to sleep.
1:06am – Your eyes fly open. You run to the bathroom.
2:30am – Wake up to carefully roll over and adjust the pillow between your knees.
6:15am – You realize you cannot lay in bed another minute because your back is aching. Even if your back didn’t hurt, your bladder is about to explode.
6:30am – While reaching for the bag of coffee beans, you remember you kicked the caffeine habit and begrudgingly reach for the apple juice instead. You polish off two bowls of cereal and wonder what else might be in the fridge.
7am – In the shower you pick up your razor, realize you can’t see your legs anyway, and put the razor back on the shelf. Your husband can deal with hairy legs for one more month, right?
7:15am – Everything in your closet looks like a tent. Hmph.
8:30am – Walk into your office, field 50 questions from coworkers about your pregnancy. Thirty of those questions are variations of “how are you feeling?”
8:32am – Why is your coworker taking so long in the bathroom; doesn’t she realize there is a pregnant woman in the office?
9:00am – Your boss asks you to do something. You make a mental note and head back to your desk.
9:01am – You sheepishly return to your boss’ office. “What was it you asked me to do again?”
10am – Thank goodness you remembered to restock the snack stash in your desk yesterday. What’s for lunch?
10:30am – Bathroom break! Maybe you should just move your desk into the ladies room. That might be easier.
12pm – Freedom! You wonder how much food you can buy at Wendy’s with the $6.32 you found in the bottom of your purse.
12:28pm – At least public restrooms have seat covers.
1pm – Back to the cubicle. This time you remember to grab the pillows out of your trunk and add extra cushion to your office chair.
2:45pm – You realize your completely forgot about the post-lunch conference call. Call to reschedule!
3:15pm – Meet with your boss to finalize plans for your maternity leave. Make a pit stop on the way back to your desk.
3:30pm – Snack time!
3:31pm – You contemplate crawling under your desk with those chair pillows for a nap.
5pm – Quick bathroom break before heading out the door. You quickly make a U-Turn after passing Sonic. It’s take-out for dinner tonight!
6pm – Start working on those booties you’ve been meaning to crochet. After the first row you realize your eyes are crossing from exhaustion. You decide to do a little online shopping before bed.
8pm – You’re still reading the reviews on the different cloth diapers you plan on trying. Fatigue will simply not permit you to continue and you head to the bedroom.
8:11pm – You finally get comfortable only to realize you have to get up and pee again. Such is the life of a pregnant woman!
8:30pm – You finally fall asleep… for now.