There are so many transitions for our children to make when we get divorced. One of the biggest ones is going from one two-parent home to two one-parent homes. It is important when making this transition that children have items of comfort at both homes. For school-age children they may have the transition to new schools and neighborhoods causing even more stress on their little lives. With so many changes going on in their lives it is crucial for you to be there supporting them through this difficult time.
Buying a second set of everything for both homes is one of the many reasons divorce can be so pricey. They need to have more than just their basic toiletries. They need to have toys and things to make them feel welcome in both homes. Letting the children come with to choose the items for their new room can help ease some of the anxiety for them. It gives them a sense of control over the situation and can give them something to look forward to as they are making this hard transition.
It may be comforting for the child to have a photograph or some other kind of momento of the other parent while they are apart. For many children this is the first time they have ever been away from either parent. Try to put yourselves in their shoes and let them talk about how they are feeling. Always make the other parent accessible no matter which house they are at. Being able to communicate with both parents gives the children a sense of stability and shows them that you are both always there for them no matter where they are physically.
In the beginning they may be apprehensive of making the trip back and forth between houses. Understand that it is only the fear of change. They still love both of you, they are going through a lot and need time to be able to work through their feelings about this new situation in their lives. Be patient and let the children adjust in their own time. It is a hard time for everyone, but you will get through it. It is just another little bump in the road.