You are likely thinking that you are already committed to your marriage, why do you need to recommit? There’s a line in a song that was released several years ago by a group called Band-Aid. It was a group of British singers working together to create a single that would donate all of its profits to the starving children in Africa. There was a line in the song that has always jumped out at me and no matter where I have been or what I have been doing – it jumps out at me, especially at Christmastime.
It’s Christmas time, when we let in light and we banish shame.
It’s a very small line, a very simple line and yet it is a very complex sentiment and it’s a beautiful thought that I think we should all take to heart and that’s why this is a great month for recommitting to your marriage. You can forgive the slights, real or imagined that happened over the last year. You can recommit yourself to the marriage by taking a few moments to express yourselves to each other.
Sit down and talk, talk about disagreements and misunderstandings. Share your viewpoints on why you disagreed or what may have caused the misunderstanding. Reaffirm your belief in each other and in what you both need to do to help avoid such misunderstandings in the future. It’s a good time to take the warm feelings of the holidays and reinvest those in your marriage.
Repeating Your Commitments
Holiday rituals and traditions are a way that we celebrate and reaffirm our beliefs – whether those beliefs are in the divine, humanity or in our families and ourselves or all of the above. If you aren’t sure of how or where to begin, consider writing down all the negative incidences, all the bad or hard feelings and listing all the slights real or perceived – get them out and onto paper. Ask your spouse to do the same. You can exchange them and read them or you can offer a blanket of forgiveness and ask for the same and then together, burn the note together – letting go of the past and recommitting to the future.
It’s important to remember during this that forgiveness is not just for your spouse, the forgiveness lets go of the hard feelings within you and lets you relieve yourself of any bitterness, anger or sadness and all that’s left is the love and the commitment to your marriage.
So give your spouse and yourself a gift this holiday season and recommit to your marriage. Do you find forgiveness for your spouse is easier at the holidays?
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