Yesterday’s top news story was the deep do-do New York Governor Eliot Spitzer found himself in after he was linked to a prostitution ring. Standing there by his side when he addressed the media was his wife, Silda.
This morning on Today, Matt Lauer interviewed another woman who was in Silda’s spot four years ago: Dina Matos, wife of former New Jersey Governor James McGreevy who admitted to having an affair with another man.
Just as Silda had stood by her husband’s side during his press conference, so did Dina. Just as the hearts of others went out to her during her time of pain, now hers went out to Silda.
Matt’s discussion with Dina raised a bunch of interesting questions. Two in particular stood out at me.
Why Do Wives Stand by Their Husbands’ Side During the Press Conference?
This is the obvious one and the one everyone wants to know about.
Matt speculated that politics and image were involved. According to other experts they brought in who’d help coach others through similar scandals (an adviser to Gary Hart was among them) this was true.
If there was any hope of salvaging the political career, the wife needed to appear as cool, calm, demure, collected, and humble as possible –yet still supportive. That was key. Apparently the more pathetic and sympathetic she came off, the better for the husband’s image. And speaking of the husband, if he could pull off a properly sympathetic and convincing apology, he might stand some hope of coming out of the mess only slightly scathed.
Matt also suggested that some politicians’ wives found their identity through their husbands’ careers. That’s all they had to define themselves, so it was in their best interest to help their husbands any way they could. After all, if he’s not in politics anymore, neither is she.
Dina said she couldn’t answer for all wives, only for herself. In her case her husband had asked her to be there, but left the decision solely up to her. Also, she didn’t feel defined by her husband’s career. That’s not why she chose to do it either.
The reason she chose to stand by him had nothing to do with her husband, his career, or image. It had everything to do with their daughter.
Was Their a Part of You That Didn’t Want to Do It?
Dina said it took her several hours to decide whether or not she’d join her husband at the podium. Matt asked her something to the effect: “Did it ever go through your mind to let him deal with it on his own? He got himself in the mess, let him get out of it. No sense dragging you into it too?”
Dina again went back to her daughter. Of course she wasn’t thrilled about having to stand next to him and take that heat, feel that focus, but in the years to come she wanted her daughter to know she’d been there for her dad. She knew that would matter to her daughter.
Courtney Mroch writes about animals great and small in Pets and the harmony and strife that encompasses married life in Marriage. For a full listing of her articles click here.
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