No matter how good the marriage is there are going to be times when we will disagree or when something our spouse is doing irritates us. What we need to do is to decide how to tackle the matter. The best idea is always communication. But there are ways it can be done.
A calm, reasonable voice and drawing out positives in your relationship before you come out with the problem areas, can perhaps make it more palatable, and make your spouse more ready to listen. It’s like the spoon full of sugar that makes the medicine go down.
The opposite also needs to be considered. If your spouse has been careful and loving in the way they communicate with you about something, then you need to be accepting and considerate of what they say. Don’t immediately go on the defensive and try and justify yourself and come over all aggrieved. I saw a classic example of this recently.
In an effort not to reject an idea that was suggested out of hand, the person tried to come back with a compromise that would work for both parties. What happened? The man became aggrieved because the other person was honest and had clearly, calmly and sensitively laid out their objections.
The whole tone of the man was that of a spoilt child. Instead of reacting in a mature way, and considering the idea, he carried on as though he had been personally attacked and was being hard done by. That’s the way some people react when you go against what they want. We need to be careful in our marriages it is not the way we react.
Accept the comments in a spirit of love. Consider the other person’s point of view and comments. See if there is some truth in the comments. Don’t just reject them out of hand. Don’t respond immediately if they make you angry, but take time to think about it and calm down before you response and end up saying things you will regret.
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